Just Desserts
Sometimes a stranger tells you something that makes your night.
I was running merch for Averse Sefira last night at Room 710 in Austin. As of late, when work stresses me out, I threaten to quit and become a merch girl. Sometimes working with merchandise, living in a van and eating nothing but microwave burritos seems superior to sitting on endless conference calls listening to people talk about "enriching the customer experience."
So... I'm playing merch girl and quickly realizing folding shirts neatly isn't as easy as it looks. A gal comes over and sits next to me. We chat a bit and somewhere in conversation it pops out that I used to be in Ignitor. She says:
"Do you remember a show where a guy got up on stage?"
Oh do I ever.
It was one of Ignitor's last shows. We were playing at The Red Eyed Fly in Austin. Tensions were high as we loaded on stage; 500 gallons of water from a sagging awning had just collapsed on our gear 5 minutes earlier. Annah's brand new Jackson was soaked. I was half-soaked as I'd been standing under the awning putting on belt and gauntlets, when all the green, mosquito-larvae infested water had come crashing down. Disgusting. Nobody knew if anything would turn on. There were tantrums. It was not a pretty scene.
As I was checking my mike, I heard a man yelling. "Aaaaaay baby! Aaaaaayyy! You're sexy! Daaamn!"
Great, I thought. We have the rude drunk on board. Turning around to continue mike check, I saw a slender dude with very long hair and a shiny loose shirt come crashing to the front, hand outstretched. I decided to be civil and took his hand, hoping he was just a happy, friendly drunk wanting a moment of connection. He slurred something mildly insulting and sexist - I no longer remember exactly. In response, he received a sharklike grimace while I ripped my hand from his. Ignitor continued setting up while he bawled for us to "take it off, show me your tits, etc."
Brilliant. We hadn't even played a note and I was already prepared to kill.
Throughout the set, this gentleman proved to be the rudest person I had encountered in my 3 years performing on stage with Ignitor. If any of you have seen me perform, you know I like to be at the edge of the stage, close to the crowd, connecting as much as I can. I spent the entire set dodging this fellow as he kept lunging for my legs. The last thing I wanted was for him to grab hold of my bad right leg and knock me off my feet. At that time, that leg was still markedly more unstable and weaker than the left; I had not yet fully regained my strength post-broken hip. Dodging him was distracting and pissed me off even more than the continued cloying clamminess of my mosquito-water soaked pants.
At one point, I reached out to hi-five someone and he lunged again, pushing the person out of the way and locking onto my hand. Pain burst through my fingers as he crushed them together. He was strong, but so am I. I wrenched out of his grip and sent him reeling backwards, where he crashed into multiple people. Angry faces everywhere were directed at him. I could sense the tension rising.
Demonslayer - about 3/4 thru the set now. Dude is still screaming for me to take it off; I'm ignoring him but quietly wishing he'll do something ultra-stupid so I can see a crowd-based beat down. We get to the end of the song where I do a back bend as I hold out a long note. As I'm going over, I see chaotic movement to my left. A flash of the monitor tipping backwards. Crowd scrambling.
And then, he's half up on the stage, trying to get his knees under him.
Oh no you don't.
At this point, I was DONE. I was finished with this drunk person. I knew if he got a hold of me we were going to go down, into an amp or the drum kit. Someone, probably me, was going to get hurt, and at that point in my life, I had had enough pain for quite some time.
Lunging quickly, I planted my fist in the dude's shoulder and shoved backwards with all my might. It looked like he flew through the air. My first thought was "Oh shit, I hope he doesn't land on anyone and hurt them." My second thought was, "That'll learn ya, motherfucker."
I didn't see him land; he disappeared into the standing bodies and did not reappear. Ignitor finished the set. I was congratulated several times on dealing with the drunk. Some dear friends in the crowd had wanted to beat him but didn't want to be ejected... I can't blame them. It was handled; it was done. Dude 0 Erika 1.
Take Away: Don't get on my fucking stage if you're a drunken, disrespectful asshole. Now that I'm fully recovered, I won't just shove you off, I'll punch the shit out of you first then THROW you into the crowd. Don't be an asshole. It's not cool.
So, having remembered all this in a flash, I said to the gal last night, "Oh sure, I definitely remember that!"
She says, "That was my ex-husband."
"Oh."
"He says he's really sorry for what happened. He had a bad drinking problem. He feels really bad."
"I see."
She circles on the "He's sorry" concept for a little while longer while I listen and wonder how to frame my response. Then, A Golden Nugget of Fact falls from her lips:
"You know, he broke his sacrum when he fell off the stage. He was in a lot of pain for a long time."
Please cue the trumpets. I HAVE OFFICALLY BUSTED SOMEONE'S ASS!
Somewhere in the haze of delight over learning this horrifically rude person who endangered my welfare with his drunken antics got what was coming to him, I find it in myself to accept this second-hand apology. Dude apparently is in AA, has cleaned up his act, and understands the errors of his ways. I can accept that; we all make errors in judgment. I'm sure he is truly sorry. A broken sacrum is one of the most painful injuries around: everything you do hurts and it takes forever to heal. I hope the pain served as reinforcement to be respectful and that bad behavior can have long lasting consequences.
Yes, I am female. Yes, I am sexy and don't hide it. Yes, I am tiny and don't look very tough. But none of that means you may disrespect me. I am as serious as I am sexy, and as tough as I am tiny. I command and DEMAND respect, and if you don't give it, expect to get your own just desserts.
I was running merch for Averse Sefira last night at Room 710 in Austin. As of late, when work stresses me out, I threaten to quit and become a merch girl. Sometimes working with merchandise, living in a van and eating nothing but microwave burritos seems superior to sitting on endless conference calls listening to people talk about "enriching the customer experience."
So... I'm playing merch girl and quickly realizing folding shirts neatly isn't as easy as it looks. A gal comes over and sits next to me. We chat a bit and somewhere in conversation it pops out that I used to be in Ignitor. She says:
"Do you remember a show where a guy got up on stage?"
Oh do I ever.
It was one of Ignitor's last shows. We were playing at The Red Eyed Fly in Austin. Tensions were high as we loaded on stage; 500 gallons of water from a sagging awning had just collapsed on our gear 5 minutes earlier. Annah's brand new Jackson was soaked. I was half-soaked as I'd been standing under the awning putting on belt and gauntlets, when all the green, mosquito-larvae infested water had come crashing down. Disgusting. Nobody knew if anything would turn on. There were tantrums. It was not a pretty scene.
As I was checking my mike, I heard a man yelling. "Aaaaaay baby! Aaaaaayyy! You're sexy! Daaamn!"
Great, I thought. We have the rude drunk on board. Turning around to continue mike check, I saw a slender dude with very long hair and a shiny loose shirt come crashing to the front, hand outstretched. I decided to be civil and took his hand, hoping he was just a happy, friendly drunk wanting a moment of connection. He slurred something mildly insulting and sexist - I no longer remember exactly. In response, he received a sharklike grimace while I ripped my hand from his. Ignitor continued setting up while he bawled for us to "take it off, show me your tits, etc."
Brilliant. We hadn't even played a note and I was already prepared to kill.
Throughout the set, this gentleman proved to be the rudest person I had encountered in my 3 years performing on stage with Ignitor. If any of you have seen me perform, you know I like to be at the edge of the stage, close to the crowd, connecting as much as I can. I spent the entire set dodging this fellow as he kept lunging for my legs. The last thing I wanted was for him to grab hold of my bad right leg and knock me off my feet. At that time, that leg was still markedly more unstable and weaker than the left; I had not yet fully regained my strength post-broken hip. Dodging him was distracting and pissed me off even more than the continued cloying clamminess of my mosquito-water soaked pants.
At one point, I reached out to hi-five someone and he lunged again, pushing the person out of the way and locking onto my hand. Pain burst through my fingers as he crushed them together. He was strong, but so am I. I wrenched out of his grip and sent him reeling backwards, where he crashed into multiple people. Angry faces everywhere were directed at him. I could sense the tension rising.
Demonslayer - about 3/4 thru the set now. Dude is still screaming for me to take it off; I'm ignoring him but quietly wishing he'll do something ultra-stupid so I can see a crowd-based beat down. We get to the end of the song where I do a back bend as I hold out a long note. As I'm going over, I see chaotic movement to my left. A flash of the monitor tipping backwards. Crowd scrambling.
And then, he's half up on the stage, trying to get his knees under him.
Oh no you don't.
At this point, I was DONE. I was finished with this drunk person. I knew if he got a hold of me we were going to go down, into an amp or the drum kit. Someone, probably me, was going to get hurt, and at that point in my life, I had had enough pain for quite some time.
Lunging quickly, I planted my fist in the dude's shoulder and shoved backwards with all my might. It looked like he flew through the air. My first thought was "Oh shit, I hope he doesn't land on anyone and hurt them." My second thought was, "That'll learn ya, motherfucker."
I didn't see him land; he disappeared into the standing bodies and did not reappear. Ignitor finished the set. I was congratulated several times on dealing with the drunk. Some dear friends in the crowd had wanted to beat him but didn't want to be ejected... I can't blame them. It was handled; it was done. Dude 0 Erika 1.
Take Away: Don't get on my fucking stage if you're a drunken, disrespectful asshole. Now that I'm fully recovered, I won't just shove you off, I'll punch the shit out of you first then THROW you into the crowd. Don't be an asshole. It's not cool.
So, having remembered all this in a flash, I said to the gal last night, "Oh sure, I definitely remember that!"
She says, "That was my ex-husband."
"Oh."
"He says he's really sorry for what happened. He had a bad drinking problem. He feels really bad."
"I see."
She circles on the "He's sorry" concept for a little while longer while I listen and wonder how to frame my response. Then, A Golden Nugget of Fact falls from her lips:
"You know, he broke his sacrum when he fell off the stage. He was in a lot of pain for a long time."
Please cue the trumpets. I HAVE OFFICALLY BUSTED SOMEONE'S ASS!
Somewhere in the haze of delight over learning this horrifically rude person who endangered my welfare with his drunken antics got what was coming to him, I find it in myself to accept this second-hand apology. Dude apparently is in AA, has cleaned up his act, and understands the errors of his ways. I can accept that; we all make errors in judgment. I'm sure he is truly sorry. A broken sacrum is one of the most painful injuries around: everything you do hurts and it takes forever to heal. I hope the pain served as reinforcement to be respectful and that bad behavior can have long lasting consequences.
Yes, I am female. Yes, I am sexy and don't hide it. Yes, I am tiny and don't look very tough. But none of that means you may disrespect me. I am as serious as I am sexy, and as tough as I am tiny. I command and DEMAND respect, and if you don't give it, expect to get your own just desserts.
posted by Skullgal at 2:31 PM
4 comments
