And the moral of this story is...

If you finally lose it and quit your job in a sudden and entertaining manner, expressing your personality and finally freeing yourself from the abuse of the entitled American public, you must be:

1. Potentially dangerous
2. Mentally unstable
3. Have a substance abuse problem

Your behavior couldn't possibly be spurred by the culture of "the customer is always right even if they're a blazing nuclear asshole who shouldn't be allowed near houseplants let alone other humans" - no, not possible. It's you. You're the problem, you're the criminal.

Now get back to work. Mr. Johnson has been waiting on hold for 15 seconds, needing to understand why YOU didn't make him lose 40 pounds in 30 days even though YOUR diet herbal smoothie colon cleanser advert said* he would.

*Results not typical. Subjects who also exercised and ate clean, healthy food reported an average 5-10 lb weight loss over 30 days. You can achieve the same by cutting off your head. Society will also benefit. Go here for further information.